TRUST — Lessons for maintaining Relationship
Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is
broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion
generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She
answered, “Public Utilities Board.” There was silence. She repeated, “PUB.”
There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard
a lady’s voice, “Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband’s
pocket but I do not know whose number it is.”
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the
telephone operator answered with just “hello” instead of “PUB”.
NO POINTING FINGERS — Lessons for maintaining Relationship
A man asked his father-in-law, “Many people praised you for a successful
marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?”
The father-in-law answered in a smile, “Never criticize your wife for her
shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that
because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than
you.”
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of
losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around
to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We
should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four
fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS? — Lessons for maintaining Relationship
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested
“I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.” The SDU
officer said, “Your requirements, please.” “Oh, good looking, polite, humorous,
sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the
whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don’t go out. Telling me
interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to
rest.” The officer listened carefully and replied, “I understand you need
television.. ”
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind
wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the
husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are
blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship.
Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a and
discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING — Lessons for maintaining Relationship
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or
demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their
spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the
case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “It is easier
to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character.”
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the
spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations. .
RIGHT SPEECH — Lessons for maintaining Relationship
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that “A speech will
either prosper or ruin a nation.” Many relationships break off because of wrong
speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect
and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other
party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A
worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, “Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to
date in the secondary school.” On the way home, her millionaire husband teased
her, “Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction
worker.” She answered,” You should appreciate that you married me. Other
wise, he will be the millionaire and not you.”
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
It’s like a broken egg – cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION — Lessons for maintaining Relationship
Different people have different perception. One man’s meat could be another
man’s poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a
boy commented, “Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey? “Upon
hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.
Later, an old man saw it and commented, “The husband is the head of family.
How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?” Hearing this,
the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, “How can the
man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.”
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then,
they met a young man. He commented, “Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight
of two persons. They are cruel to you.” Hearing that, the husband and wife
immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey
was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.
You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you.. Never in
the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.
BE PATIENT — Lessons for maintaining Relationship
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his
home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily
hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son,
knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally
had to amputate the fingers of both the hands of the kid. When the boy woke up
from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, “Daddy, I’m sorry
about your truck.” Then he asked, “but when are my fingers going to grow
back?”
The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to
take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love.
Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can’t. Too often
we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We
forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we
take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
“Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One”
